Thursday, October 27, 2016

"Magic Lotion"


In this post, my friend referenced this comic strip, "the Rychlé šípy." But it just didn't translate very well at all so we chucked it from the final English translation, [which I'll put a link to once we finish it and post it].

But it was too charming to just toss in the trashcan. So instead I decided to blog about it, because it was totally hilarious to me, and background knowledge that apparently most Czechs have but most Americans lack.

According to Wikipedia:
Rychlé šípy ("Rapid Arrows") is the name of a fictional club of five boys, consisting of Mirek Dušín, Jarka Metelka, Jindra Hojer, Červenáček ("Red Cap"), Rychlonožka ("Speedy") and a dog named Bublina ("Bubble"). They were invented by the Czech writer Jaroslav Foglar. Rychlé šípy are universally known in the Czech Republic and Slovakia, virtually everyone is familiar with them. The name Mirek Dušín has even become proverbial, referring to someone who is extremely upright, honest and hard-working, and usually used sarcastically.[1]
In this particular comic,

jak tohle vysvědčení doma ukázu, to sa'm nevím! čtyř, nedostatečné, to je hruza!
How can I bring this report card home? F's aren't good enough, this is awful!

žádné strachy! vyrobil jsem, takovou vodičku, která z papíru vymaže každé písmo! zkus ty nedostatečné vymazat a napsat tam místo nich dvojky a trojky!
Don't worry! I made a magic liquid which clears the writing from any paper! Try it without erasing and instead write there B's and C's!

jarka, nám řekl k čemu tě menčíř navádí. nedelej to! je to podvod, a stéjne vyjde nazevo!
Jarka, Mencíř told us what he was advising. Don't do it! It's a scam, and it will be found out!

vám se to mluvý! kdybych ale takové vysvědčení přinesl domů, tak by mé snad tatínek zabl
That's what you say, but if I bring this report card home, then my dad is going to beat me senseless!

jé - vždyt ta natřena místa úplné vypadla!! Mencíř mi musel dát nějakou žíravinu nebo co
Ahh! Where I painted, the paper completely dissolved! Mencíř must have put some sort of caustic agent in it! Oh noooo!

snaž se, aby ses už nikdy nemusel bát ukázat doma takove vysvědčení, jako jsi dostal ted'
You never had to worry about showing such a report card at home like what you have here.

Už abych to měl za sebo
Did I do this?

tak se pojd' pochlubit se vysvědčením, pojd' pojd'
Alright, show me your report card, come on, come on.

ty darebáku! cos to udělal s vysvěd čením?! chtěl jsi mne podvést! to si spolu vyřídíme!
You rascal! What did you to do to your report card?! You wanted me to cheat! You're going to get punished!

tak se přjznej kdo tě k tomu navedl
Who put you up to this?

mencíř, tatínku!
Mencíř, daddy!

a navedl ho pry k tomu néjaký hoch mencíř pane řediteli!
The prying cheat Mencíř is to blame for this, Mr. Principal!

vysvědčení je úřední listina! za jeho padélaní dostanete oba dva čtyřku z mravů
A Report Card is an official document! For forgery, you both get F's!

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Originally, the metaphor was trying to show how this parish register looks like it was touched with "vodičkou kozelnou" - the "magic liquid" - because it's full of transparent places.

Or, you know, covered in grease.

But it was so funny when I put it into google translate, because it showed up as "the magic lotion." So now that is an inside joke in our house. "Hey, honey, can you please pass me the magic lotion, I need to pour it on my cereal." "Hey, I think we're out of magic lotion. How will I brush my teeth?" "Can you please rub my back with some magic lotion?" bahaha

We are nerds.

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